Quote of the day

In the rhythm of the needles

there is music for the soul.

Breiclub in Oostende : elke woensdagavond van 19 u - 21 u !

dinsdag 16 augustus 2011

a very bad day

Today can be classified as one of the worst days of my life.  And at the same time it's also supposed to be a very special and happy day.  Ratio versus emotion, what my head knows, my heart refuses to acknowledge.  And the heart has the upper hand right now. 

Before you get too worried about me, I'm not ill or anything.  I just had to give my youngest son away - to the army.  He's left his home here in Oostende this morning, and has started his military carreer in Brussels. 

This morning we went with a very early train to Brussels, and were at the Military Academy by 09.00.  After some administration, we had a quick lunch and then the CEO (general something) told us to say goodbye. ' Cut the umbellical cord ' were his words.  We took the train back home and now I already miss him. (did I cry on the stupid train?  Yes, i did)

Next time we will see him is on sept. 2nd - just for the weekend.   After which he has to return for another couple of weeks. 

It's the first time he is away from home.  I don't want to think about his empty room.  I want to focus on the adventurous life ahead of him.  (Although I hope it's not too dangerous.) 

Oh boy, empty nest syndrome - let's call it acute depression.  I don't even want to knit.  What's the point of knitting ?  I miss my boy...... !!!!   I feel like I'm shattered on the floor, and I'm trying to pick up the pieces.

I'm so sorry to have botherd you with all this - I just needed to have this off my chest. Typing it out helps to focus.  I realise very much how trivial this must seem to people who have children that are ill.  I apologise for this. 

I think I'm going to follow the advise my sister gave me : a good glass of cognac may help.
 Thanks for reading and listening to me.  Tomorrow I will pobably feel very ashamed.
Jonas, just yesterday.

10 opmerkingen:

  1. You poor darling! I don't dare to think that my little girl once will leave the house. It's a horrible thought. I feel with you.

  2. elke keer een stapje verder, hé! 'k weet nog, als ze voor de eerste keer de poort uitgingen, ik ze achter nakeek en bij de voordeur weer tegemoetging en elke keer heb je zoiets, voor 't eerst naar school; voor het eerst zelf autorijden; je went er wel weer aan: ze worden groot! Maar je moet er elke keer weer door! Sterkte ermee!!
    Groetjes Jacqueline

  3. Thank you so much for your kind words. It is very helpful. I felt K.O. this afternoon. It's a little better now. My elder son, Arno, is about to get home. That will take my mind off Jonas a bit. Thank you again, and a warm hug in return !

  4. O Rozemie ik voel met je mee want ik weet wat je doormaakt. Heb het 3 x meegemaakt. Mijn volwassen kinderen hebben nu ieder hun eigen leven. Maar iedere keer als ik mijn kinderen terug zie, is het feest voor mij. Hou je daaraan vast meissie. En eigenlijk zijn ze toch ook steeds in gedachten bij je hé.
    Een dikke knuffel :)

  5. Ik heb een uithuizige zoon op kamers en 1 die nog thuis is..... het went....
    Veel breien....leidt af.

  6. Het slijt wel hoor .. eens te meer zal je blij zijn als hij weer effe thuis is ! Hier zit ik ook al met een klein hartje da' 'de kleinen' naar Brussel op kot gaat op 03.09 - dus ik ga aan je denken hoor !

  7. ja makkelijk is dit nooit, maar beetje per beetje moet je je kids loslaten, al is de ene manier makkelijker dan de andere, maar wennen doet het nooit he.. gelukkig komt hij in sept ff naar huis... en misschien kan je tussendoor eens naar brussel of mag dat niet? sorry maar mijn engels is zo goed niet ;-)

  8. Hi,Dear Rozemie...
    You do not even know,how I can understand You.
    I know,that going abroad forever by my only Daughter,cannot make it equal with Your Son's going to the army for his scholarship,but...the feelings might be similar.
    I do not know,how to comfort You,but I think,that this is not the same,as to send the Son for the War...This is the way,he has chosen and we-Mothers cannot tie our children down to the table's leg and order them to stay with us forever.This is the part of THEIR life and we cannot help this,or live it for them.
    I know,we care...All really good Mothers care,and it is sad...I know You are,like I was sometime,but...heh...the show must go on-with them,or without them and We should get used to it-have we got any other choice?
    Smile-He will do,what He likes.If not-He can always resign.This is the try of his possibilities.He also wants to know,Whom He is,what He wants,Whom He wants to be.
    We should respect our children's choice.
    But...I still understand You...
    Warm,Warm Hugs-everything's going to be all right!

  9. Thank you all so very much, the understanding between mothers is so great. Bedankt iedereen voor al jullie warmte en lieve woorden. Moeders herkennen dit gevoel, en weten precies wat het betekent als er ééntje het nest verlaat.
    Ik heb jullie reacties al een paar keer herlezen, het helpt me tijdens de moeilijke momenten. Heel erg bedankt ! Rozemie

  10. It's also not good when they stay too long ;) I still lived at home when I was 24, and my brother returned in his 30s (but eventually left and now lives in Poland.)
    The neighbours don't ask my parents "How's the offspring?" but, "Where are they at the moment?"


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